PDA
by Keinami
Summary: Kurt's not comfortable with public displays of affection, but he's all hands in private.  Blaine doesn't really get it, but he's trying.
1. Angry Caterpillars

I'm pretty sure this one will be continued.

Disclaimed.

xxx

Kurt and Blaine are on the couch watching a Project Runway marathon. To be more accurate, Kurt and Blaine are on the couch _not _watching the Project Runway marathon Kurt turned on less than twenty minutes ago.

Kurt's straddling Blaine's lap, one hand on his shoulder, the other in his hair. Blaine's teeth are at his neck , and Kurt's not actually on the couch with Blaine; he's in heaven. He pulls away and down a little so their lips can meet, and there's a moist, warm, glide of pressure against his lips before Blaine's tongue is in his mouth, sweeping across his teeth before tangling with his own. Kurt could spend all day doing this…

The door creaks, and no, no he can't spend all day doing this, because he needs to move _now_. He rolls to the side, sitting next to Blaine as though nothing was just happening. Blaine runs his hand up Kurt's arm, but he shrugs away. Blaine sighs and crosses his legs, as seems prudent.

"Hey, I'm home!" Finn calls out loudly, shucking his shoes and throwing his football equipment next to the door.

"Hi, Finn," Kurt and Blaine greet. Finn is in the kitchen, the thudding cabinets tell them, but he's shortly plopping into the seat next to Blaine, microwaved burrito in hand.

"What are you guys watching?" Finn asks. Blaine knows this is just to see if Kurt will offer up the remote; Kurt and Finn almost never watch the same shows.

"Project Runway. It's a rerun, though, so you can change the channel. We were just about to go to my room to study," Kurt says. He's about to get up, but Blaine puts a hand on his knee to stop him. Kurt moves his knee away from Blaine's hand, but he doesn't stand up.

"Why don't we stay in here for a minute?" Blaine suggests. Kurt looks over questioningly, and Blaine pointedly adjusts his legs. Kurt raises eyebrow and smirks, and, oh, he's really not getting up anytime soon. Blaine wonders if there's a way to get Finn distracted long enough to sneak to Kurt's room, but it's not looking promising. "So how's training going, Finn?"

"It's okay, I guess. Bieste's drills are pretty intense," Finn says in-between mouthfuls of buritto.

"I know. You smell like a goat," Kurt says, but there's a smile in his eyes, so Finn just shakes his head and takes off his socks.

"Oh, god, I was kidding, but jeez, Finn, take that somewhere else! That's noxious!" Kurt groans.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Finn says, waving the sock in his face. "Oh wait, no, it is. Oh my god, that's disgusting! I'm going to put these back in my bag; Puck has got to smell this."

Blaine gives Kurt his your-step-brother-is-a-total-neanderthal-and-I-can't-believe-you-used-to-have-a-crush-on-him look. Kurt gives Blaine his I-know-I-know-but-in-my-defense-have-you-seen-the-other-guys-at-my-old-school? look. Blaine uncrosses his legs, because really, they should market that smell as the anti-Viagra, and Kurt stand up.

"C'mon, let's go study in my room. With my Febreeze."

Blaine follows Kurt down the hall. Kurt opens his door, gesturing for Blaine to go in ahead of him. When Kurt walks in, he shuts the door immediately behind himself. Blaine hears the lock click, and he is suddenly pinned to Kurt's bed.

"So where were we?" Kurt asks, voice a little too low.

Blaine's happy to show him.

xxx

Kurt likes Dalton Academy, but he really misses his friends from New Directions. When Mercedes texts him on Tuesday, they plan a movie marathon on Friday night. He's excited about it all week. They plan out all the movies they are going to watch, what they are going to eat, who they are going to gossip about, and which pajamas they'll wear. Then Friday morning, Kurt gets an email from Express about a sale. By third period history, they've decided to run by the mall before dinner.

Finn takes Mercedes back to the house after glee club practice to find Kurt already there. A few minutes of high decibel squeals and hugs and they are out the door.

After an hour and a half of trying on clothes, Kurt has a lovely new pair of slacks, a sweater that he is promised brings out his eyes, three button-down shirts, a silk tie, and a bright scarf that will look great with his coat. Mercedes has killer heels and lots of fantastic jewelry. With a warm credit card in his wallet and a warm smile on his face, he and Mercedes start walking toward the food court. Halfway there, Mercedes stops and turns to a store that appears to be advertising exercise equipment.

"Those things actually exist?" Mercedes laughs. "Kurt, we've got to go in there."

"Are you sure? Because I really don't think we do," Kurt says, but he follows her anyway. "What on earth could you possibly want to buy here?"

"I'm not buying anything, but I've got to see this."

It's kind of annoying, Kurt thinks, that Mercedes won't tell him what's going on, but he's used to it, so he follows. Suddenly, he sees what has put a smile on Mercedes' face and laughs.

"Oh god, the commercials for this thing are absolutely pornographic," Kurt says, picking up a packaged ShakeWeight. Mercedes picks one up and gives it a few awkward shakes. Kurt giggles and shakes the one in his hand twice before turning and looking to see if the other patrons in the shop were paying attention to them.

They weren't, but someone had certainly noticed.

"Oh, shit, Mercedes, don't look, don't look, don't look," he moans.

Mercedes turns immediately, trying to see what he's talking about. As Kurt tentatively sets down the ShakeWeight, Mercedes sees what he was talking about.

Blaine is standing outside the store, a slightly glazed-over look in his eyes. He waves, and Mercedes, that horrible traitor, beckons him inside.

"Hi Kurt, hi Mercedes," Blaine greets. He's immediately caught in a firm hug by Mercedes. He kisses her check and squeezes her back. He turns to hug Kurt, but Kurt just reaches out with his hand and jostles Blaine's shoulder a little bit.

"Hey, Blaine. We were just shopping," he says, holding up his bags. He knows he won't have to have the discussion about the ShakeWeight now, because Blaine is immediately caught up in his new clothes. When he discoverers the sweater, the rest of the world is dead to him.

"Oh my god, that's gorgeous, that blue must really bring out your eyes!" Blaine gushes.

"That's what they said. I think they had one left in your size, in olive. You should go try it on; I bet it would look great on you!"

"Olive, do you think? With my skin tone?"

"Oh, absolutely with your skin tone!"

"Are you sure, because you know I've tried olive before, and…"

Mercedes clears her throat.

"Sorry, I forgot you hate it when we queen out on you," Kurt says. He blushes a little bit, but all is forgiven.

"Oh, honey, I wouldn't set foot in the courtyard if I wasn't ready for the queen, but…"

"Yeah, sorry Blaine, we've got a date night. I'll text you tomorrow morning. Do try on the sweater, though. In olive," he says. His eyes go a little funny when he looks to Blaine, but then he turns to the exit. Blaine wants to say something, but he doesn't.

Mercedes and Kurt are sitting in the food court when Mercedes says, "You guys didn't break up, did you?"

"Of course not! Please, if we broke up I'd have a lot more than two bags."

"You talk about him all the time, and you spend all your time with him, but I never really see you touch him." Mercedes treads carefully. She knows with one false step she could hit a whole landmine of bitch.

"I just don't feel like it's everyone's business," Kurt asserts. "I mean, nobody likes a couple who can't keep their hands off each other."

"I guess… But, I mean, a hug couldn't hurt, could it?"

Kurt doesn't respond. He looks down at his salad for a minute before taking a sip of water.

"Forget it. He makes you happy, and I'm glad."

"Me, too," Kurt says, but he sounds a little off.

xxx

He knows it's probably going to be a terrible movie, but Kurt's thrilled when Blaine invites him to see the latest romantic comedy.

They find seats near the back of the theater. Blaine pulls up the armrest between their seats. He puts his arm around Kurt's shoulders. Kurt looks around the theater. He doesn't see anyone he recognizes. When the lights go out, Kurt leans into Blaine's arms. He kisses Kurt's cheek, and Kurt pulls Blaine's arms tight around his waist. They watch the movie like that: Blaine sideways with his arms full of Kurt, Kurt leaning his back into Blaine's chest.

When the movie ends, Blaine's feeling a little giddy. The movie was pretty cute; watching it with Kurt's warm body against his was wonderful. He reaches out to grab Kurt's hand and is a little surprised when Kurt's fingers thread through his. They make their way out of the movie theater. They chat a little about the movie and argue about which of the protagonists love interests was hotter. Everything is going so nicely until Kurt's hand suddenly pulls away from Blaine's. Blaine looks at him questioningly, but Kurt is already walking over to a pair of girls in cheerleading outfits.

"Hi Brittany, hi Santana," Kurt greets. "This is my boyfriend, Blaine."

The two girls are suddenly looking at him very intently. He feels a little uncomfortable.

"Cute. Does he come in hetero?" Santana asks with a smile.

"Your eyebrows are like angry caterpillars," Brittany observes neutrally.

"I don't think so, and my father's are worse, unfortunately," Blaine answers with what he hopes is a charming smile. The girls look sufficiently charmed, and he's relieved. They say their goodbyes, and Kurt and Blaine head to the parking lot.

"They seemed nice," Blaine says.

"I guess. Santana's got kind of a mean streak, but Brittany's nice enough. Would you believe I dated her for a while?"

"Wait, what? You had a straight phase?" Blaine asks. It's funny; he wouldn't buy Kurt as straight for a minute. Blaine clicks his key fob to unlock the doors. They climb into his car and buckle up.

"I thought I told you about that. I mean, not really, I just thought my dad would be happier with a straight son, so…"

"You dated a girl to make your dad happy? Why? Mr. Hummel seems like he's really supportive."

"He's not unsupportive or anything, but… It's complicated. It was just a few days, anyway. We only made out once, and that was just so my dad would see, so it hardly counts."

Blaine can't believe how nonchalant Kurt is being. He really wants to pull over so he can look at him.

"You made out with her in front of your dad? You won't even hold my hand in front of him." Blaine is trying his hardest to be calm, but he doesn't feel calm at all. He feels like he's been lied to, which is ridiculous; he hasn't been. Still, he's been trying to accept that Kurt's not comfortable with PDA. He's tried to be supportive, but this? He doesn't know what to do with this.

"That's different. It's not…" Kurt's quiet and uncomfortable, and Blaine's mind is reeling. It's a few minutes before Kurt says, "It didn't mean anything."

"But _this_ does," Blaine says, because it has to mean something.

"Of course it does. That's why-"

"Are you ashamed of me?" It's sudden and harsh, but he needs to ask.

"Of course I'm not! I told them we were dating, didn't I?"

They're parked in front of Kurt's house now, but he doesn't want to go in.

"You should probably go inside," Blaine says.

"Are you going to come with me?" Kurt asks, even though he knows the answer.

"No. Look, we're… I don't know what we are, but I'll text you later tonight, okay? It's not… I just need to think." His hands are tight on the steering wheel.

"Are you mad at me?" Kurt's voice is very soft. Blaine can't look at him.

"I… I won't be when I text you."

"But you are now."

"I promise I'll text you, and we'll sort it out."

Kurt wants to yell. He wants to yell, and he wants to throw something, and he definitely does not want to leave Blaine's car without some kind of resolution. He unbuckles his seatbelt, though. He looks down at his shoes for a moment.

"I love you," he says, because he can't get out of the car unless he says it.

"I know," Blaine says. His voice is quiet, and he still won't look at Kurt. "I love you, too. I'll text you."

Kurt opens the door. He wants to drag Blaine into the house with him and kiss him in front of his dad and Carole and Finn. He wants to make things okay, because he's not a wait and see kind of guy. He's a right now kind of guy, and right now he feels like shit, and right now he just wants things to be okay with Blaine. But Blaine's a wait and see guy, and he's not going to push it.

It's already fractured, and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do if he breaks it.

Blaine backs out of his driveway before he gets his key in the door.

"Hi, I'm home," Kurt says as he walks through the door.

"How was your date?" Carole asks, as he walks by the sofa where she and his father are sitting.

"Pretty good," Kurt says.

"That's nice," she says. "Blaine's such a nice boy."

Before anyone else can say anything, Kurt says, "I'm going to take a shower. There were some guys smoking outside the theater, and I need to wash my hair."

The water's barely on before his tears start falling.

xxx

Blaine looks over at his phone for the tenth time. He knows he should just text Kurt already, but he still doesn't know what to say.

He can't get over the idea that Kurt was more willing to be affectionate with some girl he didn't care about than with him.

He's asked Kurt why he's so uncomfortable with PDA before. He usually just says that he thinks relationships should be private. Then he says "Oh, my, it looks like we're in a private place _right now_," and gives Blaine a hard kiss that makes Blaine forget their conversation and everything else.

He assumed it was because Kurt had never been in a relationship before, but apparently that wasn't true. Kurt dated a girl, and it didn't matter at all, but it mattered so much.

Blaine's not mad any more. He's just sad, and he feels like a total idiot.

xxx

Kurt's putting on lotion (because depression is not an excuse for foregoing proper moisturizing techniques) when his phone buzzes. He jumps and wipes his hands off, but it's Mercedes.

"Hey boo. Howd ur hot date go?"

He hesitates but presses call.

"Hey, Kurt. I guess it must have been real good if you've got to call me up and give me all the deets, huh?" Mercedes voice is teasing, but Kurt doesn't respond. "Kurt, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here. It's… it wasn't very good." He launches into an explanation, and Mercedes is calling him honey and baby, but he knows she doesn't really understand.

"So what are you going to tell him?" Mercedes asks. Her tone is gentle, but the question really isn't.

"I don't know yet. I just don't feel comfortable being affectionate in public."

"Why? Are you worried somebody is going to say something to you, because you know I'll kick their ass, Kurt. You know that."

He does, and he smiles.

"No, it's not even that anymore, I don't think. I just… It seems private, you know? It's our business, and I don't want everyone else getting mixed up in it."

"But what about Brittany? Isn't that what he's mad about?"

"What about her? I wanted my dad to see that. I wanted him to feel like we had something in common, and… we do, but it's definitely not that. Now that it's actually something real… I don't… I want it to be about us, not anyone else."

It's been two hours when Blaine finally decides to text Kurt. He has no idea how to start, so he settles with "Hey."

He feels completely lame, but he knows he'll get a response.

Sure enough, he gets a response two minutes later, but all it says is "Hey." in response. He stares at his phone, unsure what to do, so he gives up and calls. Kurt picks up on the third ring.

"Hi."

"Hi." He waits a minute, to see if Kurt will start, but he doesn't. "Look, about what happened in the car. …I still don't get it."

"I know. I just- kissing Brittany didn't matter, so it didn't matter who saw. Kissing you matters a lot. I can't- I can't share it with anyone because it's not- it's not…" Kurt doesn't know how to finish.

"Kissing you matters to me, but I want people to know. I want them to see, because it matters."

"And that's great, but…"

"But you don't agree," Blaine says. He's not angry or even sad anymore. He's just confused.

"It's not about agreeing. It's just… it's not how I feel. I think I just want to have something that's mine. I… With us… I just want to protect it, because it's worth protecting." Kurt's not crying. Blaine knows he's not crying, because he can hear him breathing, but he knows that Kurt is upset.

"I don't understand how keeping things secret is keeping them safe," Blaine says.

"I don't think I do either," Kurt says with a short laugh that catches a little bit near the end.

And Blaine makes up his mind. He doesn't get it, but he's starting to get something: He's not going to get this. He and Kurt could talk all night, but they'd still be on different pages, and either that was going to be okay or it wasn't, but it wasn't going to change tonight.

"Kurt, I'm getting in my car." Kurt hears him walk through his house, lock the door, put his keys in the ignition. He even hears the sound change when Blaine's Bluetooth takes over the call. They talk for the rest of the drive. Kurt promises to try, but he can't promise anything else. Blaine says it's okay, and it is okay, for right now, at least.

Blaine doesn't hang up until he's parked in Kurt's driveway, until he sees Kurt standing on the phone with his porch. Kurt's walking to his car before he's even parked. Blaine is shutting his car door when suddenly Kurt's arms are around his neck, his nose in the crook of his neck. Blaine just holds him tight against his chest. He strokes his hair and says nothing when he notices it's not been styled. It's a little awkward, because Kurt's taller than him, but neither of them particularly cares.

When he hears Finn's car pulling up, Blaine lets his arms fall. As Kurt pulls away, he kisses Blaine cheek so briefly Blaine's not even sure it happened. If Kurt's eyes are a little red, Blaine doesn't mention it to him.

To Finn's credit, he doesn't say anything, except: "Hey guys."

Kurt smiles and greets his step-brother, and he already looks like nothing happened. Blaine wonders how many times he's looked at Kurt and not known anything was wrong. He hates that Kurt's poker face is this good; he hates knowing that Kurt's needed to build up a façade at this age.

The conversation is over, but Blaine's still thinking about it.

They're in Kurt's room. They watch Golden Girls reruns (because they've both got diverse interests, but they only seem to intersect at half past fabulous) on Kurt's computer. Kurt sits with his back against the wall. Blaine lays his head down on Kurt's chest.

"Kurt?" he asks, voice muffled against Kurt's sweater.

"Hm?" Kurt responds, but he's mostly focused on the screen.

"I'm not mad at you. But I am… worried about you."

"That's silly," Kurt says. He's waiting for an explanation, and once again Blaine doesn't know what to say.

"Why did you date that cheerleader?"

"I told you, my father-"

"Yeah, but did your dad tell you to date a girl? Why would you think that's what he wanted?"

"He… he kept hanging out with Finn. It just seemed like they like the same things, and maybe if I did, too… He's my dad. I'd do anything for him," Kurt says. He knows it's not what Blaine wants to hear. He knows Blaine's just going to tell him that he needs to be himself and all that, but his father is all he really has. He can't lose him, even if it means losing himself sometimes.

"Did you talk to your dad about it?"

"We did later. He… he loves me. He said I'm his son, no matter what, and he loves me."

Blaine's quiet, but he scoots up just enough to rest his cheek on Kurt's shoulder. Kurt's waiting for a response, so he says what he's thinking:

"That must have been hard."

"I guess," Kurt says. He tries not to think about it; things are okay now.

"I know it might seem like it after this afternoon, but you can talk to me about anything. I won't always understand, but I will listen."

Kurt doesn't say anything. His hand finds its way into Blaine's hair. He strokes Blaine's hair until he hears Blaine's breath catch a little bit.

"Blaine?" he whispers, but Blaine's fallen asleep. Kurt kisses his hair, and he's not really watching the Dorothy talk about cheesecake.

xxx

Kurt wakes with a jolt to a knock on the door. Blaine shifts against his chest, and he shakes him awake. Blaine's hair is ruffled, and he's blinking a lot, and Kurt suddenly feels very, very lucky.

"Kurt? It's, uh, it's a school night, bud. Shouldn't you guys be saying goodnight?" Burt's talking to the door and Kurt's scrambling to get out of bed so he can talk to his father face to face.

"I'm sorry, dad!" Kurt says as he opens the door. "We were watching TV, and we fell asleep."

"It's okay," Burt says, but he's not quite looking Kurt in the eyes.

Blaine picks up his messenger bag and apologizes to Burt, who shakes his head and tells him it's not a problem. Kurt offers to walk Blaine to his car.

They're standing at the door, and Blaine looks to Kurt with a sleepy half smile. Kurt looks from side to side quickly before kissing Blaine softly.

"I'm sorry I freaked out on you earlier," Blaine whispers. He wraps his arms around Kurt's waist and leans into him a little bit, still warm and cuddly from sleep.

"It's okay. I'm sorry… I'm sorry," Kurt replies. He leans into Blaine, then pulls away.

"It's okay. Call me anytime."

Kurt nods, and Blaine hopes he really will.

xxx

It's late when Blaine gets back home, and he's grounded for a week. He goes to bed with a smile, because it's worth it.


	2. Courage

Dear Reviewers,

If you put ideas I like in your reviews, I will probably steal them.

No hard feelings?

XOXO,

Emma

Also, general stuff: I'm pretending Kurt is a sophomore and Blaine is a junior, because the internet said so. I'm also pretending they get together in January/February, and it's now May/June. Rachel and Finn are back together. Also, the Hummel-Hudson family has moved into a new house, and Finn and Kurt get their own bedrooms, because Carole promised. Kurt lives at home, because I said so. Geography is irrelevant.

Also, also: second plot line arising.

xxx

It's Saturday, and Blaine's not grounded anymore. He and Kurt talked about their plans the whole week at school, but ultimately, they decided to just go over to Kurt's house.

It's a great plan, Blaine decides, stretched out under Kurt in his bed. Kurt's lips are soft and gentle against his, but he knows it's only a matter of time. When he turns his head just a little to the left, the kisses intensify, and he feels nimble fingers un-tucking his shirt. A soft, manicured hand sets to work on the buttons of Blaine's shirt. Blaine nibbles on Kurt's bottom lip, just a little bit, and he gets a little half-gasp in response. Kurt kisses his way down Blaine's neck then bites down on his collar bone. Blaine threads his fingers through Kurt's hair, because this boy is so ridiculously wonderful. Just as he's guiding Kurt's chin back up, guiding those lips back up to meet his, there's a knock on the door.

Because of course, _of course,_ there's a knock on the door. Kurt's hands are already buttoning his shirt, and he moves to tuck his shirt back in. His hand is swatted away, and he's right, it doesn't matter. Fingers are combing through his hair, but he knows from his boyfriend's face that it's completely hopeless.

Kurt hops off the bed, because somehow, Kurt can still hop off the bed. When he answers the door, he does hide behind it a little, so at least Blaine's not left feeling like a total freak. It's Carole, which is probably the best option.

"Hi, boys. Blaine, we just wanted to know if you were staying for dinner?"

"Oh, uh, yes, ma'am? If that's alright?" This is so incredibly embarrassing. Part of him wants to die, but a bigger part of him just wants to shut the door and regain their privacy. It's only been a week since they've had time alone together, but Kurt struggles with even holding hands in public. He's only gotten a handful of kisses over the past week, snuck and rushed in empty hallways between classes. It probably wouldn't have been a problem, he reflects, if it hadn't been for knowing that he _couldn't_ spend time alone with Kurt.

"Of course it is, Blaine. You know you're always welcome here."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hummel."

"And you know that I want you to call me Carole," she reminded him. She looks more amused than anything, but Blaine knows she means it. He knows, and he's really fond of her, but he can't.

"Yes, ma'am."

His parents would be proud.

She shakes her head and laughs.

"And Kurt, honey?" Her voice is sweet- a little too sweet.

"Y- yes?"

"You should probably put on a shirt with a higher collar before your dad sees you." She's smiling, and Blaine knows that for whatever reason, she's completely okay with him sucking face with her sixteen-year-old step-son.

"Thanks." A pretty brush stains his cheeks.

"I'll leave you two alone," she says with a wink, shutting the door behind her. Kurt locks the door, and within a minute, he is back in bed, pressing Blaine's wrists into his blue and gold comforter. Blaine's body is hot under his, and this time he can't even start off being gentle. He should be embarrassed, but he's not, he's not.

Blaine wrenches his hands out of Kurt's grip and strokes one hand through Kurt's soft hair while the other hand falls to the small of his back. They're at an interesting point in their relationship. Things have gotten really, really sexy, but they aren't sexual yet. It's nice, and Blaine really doesn't want to rush anything, but he's not really sure how much longer it can last. He's not going to pressure Kurt into anything he's not ready for, he's not, but sometimes he wonders if Kurt might be ready.

Like right now, he's wondering. Kurt was so shy about their first kiss, but now he's anything but shy. He knows what he wants, and what he wants is to try everything. He's not comfortable showing affection in public, but he's so cheeky in private. Really cheeky.

Like right now. Right now, Kurt's got Blaine on his back, and he's on top of him, his whole body warm and solid on Blaine's. His hips are flush against Blaine's, and Blaine's so glad that he's not the only one reacting to this. It's so _nice_, and he thinks _maybe…_

He thinks _courage, _and he pulls his mouth away, just off to the side and says: "So… your parents are going out of town in two weeks."

Kurt pushes up onto his elbows to look down at him.

"Yeah, for a week. Can you believe they almost didn't trust me and Finn to stay here alone?" Kurt shakes his head a little bit, but he's blushing. Blaine thinks he gets it.

"Should they trust you?" Blaine asks, and his voice goes a little low, and his hand is not even kind of on the small of Kurt's back anymore. If Kurt didn't get it before, he does now.

"That depends." He's looking Blaine straight in the eyes. His cheeks are flushed, but his gaze is firm.

"Yeah? On what?" He brings his knee up to nudge Kurt's thigh a little bit, and Kurt rolls off of him, onto his side. They're facing each other, lying on Kurt's bed.

"What- what are you expecting?" Kurt asks. He loses Blaine's gaze quickly, and he's looking down, scratching at his thumb a little bit.

"I'm not expecting anything. It just seems like… I mean, are you ready for… because I don't want to do anything you're not-"

"Blaine," Kurt whispers, and Blaine stops.

"I want to do whatever you want to do," he says a little helplessly, because really, that's all he wants.

"I want you to stay over," Kurt says. He looks up to Blaine now, and Blaine's smiling at him in a very love-sick sort of way. It's funny, he thinks, how these conversations turn his charming, if not a little uptight, boyfriend into the awkward teenager he's supposed to be.

"Yeah, you know, no pressure," Blaine says. "It's not like-"

"Blaine," Kurt says quietly but firmly. "You wouldn't be my boyfriend if I thought you were going to pressure me. I'm not letting you get away with anything. I've got… needs, too."

"Needs, huh?" Blaine asks with a playful smile Kurt can hear, rather than see.

"Needs," Kurt agrees, giving Blaine a sweet kiss as he sits up. "Like right now, I _need_ to change my shirt, because it's almost time for dinner."

xxx

During dinner, Finn asks Blaine what his favorite Xbox 360 game is.

"Um… I think I played Rock Band once? Is that Xbox 360?" He's not really comfortable with Finn yet. Their interests overlap just enough to give them something to talk about but not enough for them to really be friends.

"Kurt doesn't play video games, either," Finn says, shaking his head.

"Finn, you know I'll play your little games with you if you ask," Kurt says brightly. Burt casts him a warning glance, but a charming smile gets him out of it.

"Now you just made it sound lame," Finn complains. "At least try it once."

"If you let me take you shopping, I'll play your game."

"No way! Last time you and Mercedes went shopping, you were gone for six hours!"

"Fine. Two hours,"

"Two hours, are you kidding? No way."

"One and a half," Kurt challenges.

"Half an hour," Finn responds.

"No way. One hour playing your game for an hour of shopping. Final offer."

Finn sighs and looks at the potatoes for a moment.

"Deal."

"It's nice to see the boys sharing interests," Carole beams.

"I guess," Burt replies.

xxx

Blaine stays for a few hours after dinner but heads home before long. He gives Kurt a hug and a kiss (in the hall, after making sure no one is there to watch) and leaves.

As Kurt's walking back through the house, lamenting not having anything to do on a Saturday night, he sees Finn in the living room.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks. It's unusual for Finn to spend so much time at home on a weekend, but there he is.

"Not much. Rachel went to see some play with her parents and the football team is having some stupid party at- at some guy's house."

Kurt knows the only reason Finn would cut himself off is because it's at Karofsky's. No one says his name around Kurt anymore. It's not necessary, but he's grateful. It's also not necessary that Finn stay home from the party, but he did. Kurt smiles.

"I haven't got anything to do, either. We can play your game now, if you want," Kurt says. Finn gives him a little half smile and moves to put the disc in the consol.

"So…" Finn says as the game is starting to load. "Uh, our parents are heading out of town in a couple weeks."

"Yeah," Kurt replies.

"And my school will already be out by then," Finn continues. He's still turned to the Xbox when he says, "So… is it okay if Rachel stays over a few nights?"

"Yeah," Kurt replies. He's not really sure how to say it, not really sure what Finn would say if he did, but suddenly, he really wants to ask. _Courage_, he thinks. "So… if you're having someone stay over, can I as well?"

"Wait, are you talking about Blaine?" Finn asks. "Don't you think it's a little… soon?"

"We've been dating for four months," Kurt huffs. "You and Rachel haven't even been back together that long."

Finn is silent for a moment. He chews on the edge of his thumbnail.

"I just don't want him taking advantage of you," Finn says.

"What makes you think I'm not the one taking advantage of him?" Kurt challenges.

"…ew. I really don't want to have to think about-"

"Then don't, it's none of your business. I don't want to think about you and Rachel, either," Kurt huffs. He feels himself getting testy and takes a deep breath. Finn's trying to be a good brother; he just doesn't understand. Rather than yell at his brother, he thinks, maybe he should take his rage out by killing some zombies. "Why don't we just play the game? Might as well get it over with. We can talk about this later."

xxx

"Die, die, DIE!" Kurt shouts. He springs off the couch, controller in hand, eyes set on the screen.

Finn is leaning forward on the couch, biting his lower lip. Kurt blasts another zombie. Finn looks at his watch.

"Kurt, your hour is up, if you want to stop playing," he says.

"You're just saying that because I'm winning," Kurt smirks. His kill count is now twice Finn's.

xxx

An hour later, Kurt has completely annihilated Finn. He's leaning back on the sofa, a smirk on his face.

"You're surprising good at that," Finn admits.

"I'm a better football player than you, too," Kurt gloats. "Any other hobbies you want to share?"

"One game and you think you're Peyton Manning…" Finn grumbles. As Kurt gets up to leave he says, "Hey Kurt?"

"Yes?" Kurt asks with a grin.

"About… the other stuff. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. I worry about you." It's not easy for Finn to admit this.

Kurt knows it's not easy for Finn to admit this, but he doesn't particularly care. In fact, he's pretty angry.

"I can worry about myself, Finn. I've done it for years. In fact, I've not once hit anyone with my car, or thought I got anyone pregnant, or let-"

"Shut up!" Finn snaps. "I've made mistakes; at least I _know_ that. You think you're perfect. You can pick apart everything wrong with everyone else, but you can't see any faults in yourself, can you? You think you're so much better than everyone else, but you're _mean_. You talk about people behind their backs. You don't tell anyone anything, because you expect them to know what's wrong with you. You tried to break up our parents, because you wanted more attention, because _you can't handle it when things aren't about you_!"

Kurt looks hard at Finn, then turns to leave.

"What, so you're going to walk away? You don't even have anything to say?"

"What am I supposed to say? Oh gee, Finn, I'm so glad you're here to protect me from my _boyfriend_. It's not like a few months ago you wouldn't even help protect me from a guy who actually was threatening me!"

"What am I supposed to do? That was months ago, I already apologized for that!"

"Yeah, well…" Kurt starts, but he can't think of anything to say.

They exchange a tense look for a moment before Finn starts laughing.

"Oh what the _hell_, Finn!" Kurt shouts, but suddenly he's laughing, too.

"Boys, I heard yelling. Is everything okay?" Carole says from the doorway.

"We're fine, mom," Finn answers. There's a moment of silence, in which Carole looks at them with a little worry in her eyes before she nods and leaves. "Look, I don't even remember what we were talking about, but-"

"I'm sorry," Kurt interrupts. Apologizing is one of Kurt's least favorite things, and Finn seems to recognize this. "I said some things I shouldn't have said. Things I didn't mean."

"I'm sorry, too. I should have stood up for you," Finn says. "I actually… what started this?"

"You don't want to let Blaine spend the night," Kurt says quietly. "You don't think I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"It's not that. It's… I _do_ worry about you. You really don't tell any of us what's going on. I see this guy all the time, but you never really talk about him."

"I talk about Blaine all the time!" Kurt argues.

"But you never really _say_ anything. You just say you're going to spend time with him, or he said something funny in school, but if something went wrong you would never tell me."

"Why should I?" Kurt says. "It's not like it'll change things."

"Mercedes was asking about you at school. She said you guys had been having trouble and you were upset about it. What am I supposed to tell her? Why didn't you tell me? I'm supposed to be your brother," Finn says, hurt.

"Mercedes told you? That bitch," Kurt says, but it's without venom. "Fine, we got in a fight last week. We sorted it out."

"Is that all you're going to tell me?" Finn says with a sigh.

"He got mad, because I don't like public displays of affection," Kurt admits.

"Rachel's the same way," Finn says. "She always tries to kiss me in front of the guys. It's like, I don't want everyone to watch us make out, you know?"

"Exactly!" Kurt says. "I just want some privacy."

"Right?" Finn agrees. "I mean, I'm okay with holding her hand and kissing her goodbye and everything, but seriously, sometimes it's just too much."

"But if she didn't want to kiss you in front of people you'd be fine with it, right?" Kurt asks.

"Not even a kiss on the cheek? That seems pretty uptight," Finn says. "Even I'm not that bad."

Kurt doesn't say anything.

xxx

"I talked to my brother today," Kurt says. He's back in his room, sitting on his bed, pretending to look through his biology notes, glad Blaine's not there to see his nervous movements.

"Yeah? About what?" Blaine asks.

"About our parents going out of town," Kurt clarifies.

"Oh," Blaine replies, idly playing with a Rubix cube he knows he'll never solve. "So… What did he say?"

"He wasn't exactly… delighted. Apparently, he thinks he needs to protect my maidenly virtue."

"I, for one, am glad your virtue is anything but maidenly," Blaine quips. Kurt chuckles. "That's okay. I can still come over and visit, right?"

"Oh, you're still staying the night," Kurt says adamantly. "Finn doesn't get to meddle in my life like this. Besides, I think it's okay now. We… we got in a fight about it."

"What? Kurt, you guys usually get along so well! What happened?" Blaine asks, concerned.

"It… I kind of started it. He said he was worried about me, and I… snapped at him," Kurt says. He waits to see if Blaine will say anything, but he doesn't. "I just… our parents didn't get married until a few months ago, you know? A few months ago he wouldn't even defend me against the football team and now he wants to act like he's my protector?"

"He's learning," Blaine says softly. "He's never had to be a brother before."

"Neither have I," Kurt says. He sighs. "I said some really awful things to him. I guess I'm still not very good at it."

"You're learning, too, baby."

"Mmm… I like it when you call me baby," Kurt says with a smile, glad to have an opportunity to change the subject.

"Do you, baby?" Blaine teases.

"I do, but I haven't figured out what to call you," Kurt replies playfully. "I mean, I can't call you baby, too. I could call you honey. What do you think about that, Blaine, honey?"

"You can call me anything you want," Blaine says. He flops on his back in his bed with a smile. "I like flirty Kurt."

"Do you?" Blaine can almost hear him raising an eyebrow through the phone. "Maybe you can get to know him a little better over the next few weeks."

"I'm _really_ looking forward to it."


	3. Literary Analysis

EVERYONE IS TALKING ALL THE TIME IN THIS CHAPTER. SO MUCH DIALOGUE. SO MUCH.

Also, I'm assuming about ten things are going to happen in the canon to make this completely irrelevant. I saw a picture for the Superbowl episode with Kurt and his parents in the stands of a (WMHS) football game with Blaine. Ahhh! He's meeting his parents, big steps, big steps!

Also also, because it came up in a review: things will get more detailed, but they won't get _too_ detailed. I'm not abandoning the main/other plot line; it will come back soon.

xxx

"Kurt said you could stay over when our parents are out of town," Finn tells Rachel in the hallway. They are walking through the halls hand in hand, before classes start.

"You told Kurt? Why would you tell him? I trusted you Finn, and you told _Kurt_. Mercedes is going to know by second hour, and then _everyone_ is going to know, honestly, Finn," Rachel says. She speaks so quickly it takes Finn a full thirty seconds to understand.

"We live in the same house, Rachel, he was going to find out anyway," Finn reasons.

Rachel huffs.

"Come on, Rachel, I'm sorry, I just… There's more," Finn responds.

"More? Did you tell anyone else, Finn? Did you-"

"No, Rachel, please just let me talk to you. I… I need your advice," he says, looking to her. He knows she won't be able to resist that; she loves telling people what to do.

"Fine, Finn, but if you told someone else, you'll have lied to them, because I won't come over," Rachel threatens.

"It's not about us, it's about Kurt," Finn says.

"Kurt? I thought he was doing really well at his new school?" Rachel asks, and Finn's glad to hear some concern in her voice. He's not sure when things changed between Kurt and Rachel, but they have, and it's for the better.

"He is. He's doing a little too well," Finn says. "He, uh… he wants his boyfriend to stay over a few nights when our parents are out of town."

"Blaine? Oh that's wonderful, I've been meaning to talk to him about his performance at sectionals. His voice is fantastic, but his stage presence leaves a lot to be desired," Rachel states.

"That's all you got from that? Rachel, he wants to stay the night _in my house_ with _Kurt_," Finn stresses.

"So? They've been dating for months, it seems like they're really happy together. Kurt's not even in New Directions anymore; why would Blaine want to sabotage his own teammate? What are you worried about?" Rachel asks.

"I'm not worried about sabotage; I'm worried about Kurt. He's the first guy Kurt's ever really gone out with. I just don't want him to wind up getting hurt. Blaine's a teenage guy, Rachel. Teenage guys are only after one thing," Finn says.

"If that's all you've been after, you're doing a really bad job. That's not why _I'm_ staying over. Who says they're going to... Besides, Kurt's a teenage boy, too. Maybe he's the one pushing for it," Rachel says.

"Ew, it's like you've been talking to Kurt about this. You haven't been, have you?" When Rachel shakes her head he continues. "I just don't trust this guy. He's too… He talks like an adult, you know? We can't really talk about anything, because he's too… uptight. It's like he's a robot."

"You don't have to like him; that's Kurt's job. You're worried about Kurt and that's sweet, but… I don't think he needs your help this time," Rachel says.

"I just… He's had too many bad things happen to him already," Finn sighs.

"But what if this is a good thing?" Rachel asks. "Finn… I think you feel guilty because you haven't always been there for him in the past, and now you're trying to make up for it."

"What?" Finn exclaims. "No, that's not it, I just don't trust this guy."

"If you say so," Rachel says as the bell rings. She kisses his cheek and leaves for class.

During math class, all Finn can think is that Rachel is totally and completely wrong.

xxx

"Did you talk to your brother this morning?" Blaine asks. They're in the commons before classes, sitting next to each other on the couch.

"No, I leave before he wakes up," Kurt replies.

"Wait, really? Doesn't his school start at 7:20?" Blaine asks. "When do you leave?"

"6:30," Kurt responds.

"Oh my god, he gets ready in less than an hour?" Blaine says.

"I know, I know. Did you know he washed his face with _hand soap_ before we lived together?"

"_Hand soap!_ Oh, Finn, Finn, Finn…" Blaine shakes his head.

"Carole wasn't much better. You should have seen her hair," Kurt says.

"It seems like you've all really been really good for each other," Blaine says neutrally. "And… I really don't want to interfere with that. I've been thinking about it, and-"

"Oh, no you don't, Blaine. Finn's going to have to get used to us. I love you, and there's no way I'm letting Finn get in the way of that," Kurt says fiercely.

"It's not about letting him get in the way; this is just one thing. If it's going to happen anyway, it doesn't matter if it's that week or later. If it's going to make things awkward between you and Finn, I won't come over. We can… reschedule," Blaine says, and it's clear what he's talking about. Kurt's glad Blaine understands that he doesn't want everyone to know about their plans.

"Blaine, I used to have a crush on him. Awkward is kind of the status quo," Kurt quips. "We're not 'rescheduling.' He's going to have to get over it. Did I tell you his girlfriend is staying over?"

"No, you didn't, but… I'm sure he has his reasons," Blaine reasons.

"Yeah, reason number one being he doesn't trust me to make my own decisions. He thinks I'm some weak little _girl_ or something. He thinks he needs to protect me, but I can look after myself," Kurt fumes.

"Hey," Blaine says softly. He pats Kurt's leg a little, just below the knee. It's a risky move, but Kurt allows it. "Hey, he's just worried about you. You said it last night- he's never had a brother before. He's trying. Besides, it doesn't have to be you. What if it's me? He and I have never really connected. Why don't I come over sometime, and try to get to know Finn better?"

The bell rings. Blaine moves to get up, but Kurt stops him.

"Thanks," Kurt says. He wraps his arms around Blaine and pulls him close, kissing him on the cheek. Most of the other students have already left for class, but there are a few stragglers. A week ago that would have stopped him. "Why don't you come over this weekend? I'm not sure it will make things better, but it can't hurt."

xxx

The weekend comes quickly. When the doorbell rings on Saturday, Kurt darts through the kitchen to get it, but his dad beats him to the punch.

"Hello, Mr. Hummel, it's nice to see you again," Blaine greets.

"Yeah, uh, you too," Burt says, taken aback. "Would you, uh, like to sit down somewhere? KURT! Kurt, get the hell in here!"

"Hi daddy, was that- Blaine! I thought that was you! Let me go upstairs to get Finn," Kurt says.

"Finn? Are you guys going somewhere?" Burt asks, noticing Kurt's messenger bag on his shoulder.

"We're going to the mall. Finn promised he'd go shopping with me; Blaine's going to help," Kurt says. Before Burt can respond, he heads to fetch Finn.

"So, uh, you like to… shop," Burt says slowly.

"Yes, sir," Blaine says. He feels he should remind him: "I also enjoy football."

"Huh," Burt says.

Blaine nods and shuffles his feet awkwardly. He's quite glad Kurt comes in quickly with Finn.

"Are you ready?" Kurt asks.

"Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Mr. Hummel, it's always a pleasure to see you," Blaine says.

"Sure. See you," Burt says with a curt nod.

He shuts the door behind them. "It freaks my dad out when you're so formal, Blaine," Kurt whispers, taking Blaine's arm. "Bye dad, we'll be back soon."

"I thought the formality was charming…" Blaine muttered.

"I think it is, too" Kurt agrees. "My dad just isn't used to it. It makes him uncomfortable."

"I'll drive," Finn offers.

"No, you won't," Kurt says. "You've been taking your mom's car to practice; it smells like corn chips and feet."

"I'll drive. I'd feel bad blocking the driveway, anyway," Blaine says.

"You can sit in front, Finn," Kurt offers.

"Thanks, man," Finn says, and he hops in the front seat of Blaine's sleek car. "Shit, nice car!"

"Thanks," Blaine replies. He's fairly sure he'll regret it, but in the interest of getting Finn on his side he says, "You can do whatever you want with the radio."

xxx

"Finn, no, no, no, put that down _this instant_," Kurt demands in hushed tones.

"Why? I like it. Besides, you told me to come into this store," Finn says.

"I told you to come into this store, but I did not tell you to try on anything in _ochre_," Kurt fumes.

"Kurt, it's okay, he doesn't know any better," Blaine soothes. "Finn, are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Uh, no, I already have clothes," Finn says.

Kurt sighs loudly. He opens his mouth, but Blaine nudges him.

"Alright, tell us what size you are, and we'll start from there."

xxx

It winds up taking an hour and a half, but Finn walks away with several new pairs of jeans, sneakers, and a few shirts Kurt has begrudgingly approved (none of which are _ochre_). They're sitting in the food court drinking coffee when Finn excuses himself to use the restroom. As soon as he's out of earshot, Kurt and Blaine begin scheming.

"When he comes back, I'm going to say I've got to run to another store to pick up a few things. I'll be gone for half an hour, but if things go wrong and you want me back sooner, text me. Our safe word is 'avocado,'" Kurt says in a business-like tone.

"We have a safe word?" Blaine asks with a slight blush.

"Focus, Blaine, focus! He doesn't wash his hands if I'm not there to remind him; we don't have much time. Remember when I auditioned for the Warblers for the first time, and you told me I was too fabulous for them, and I needed to hide my natural flair for the dramatic?"

"I don't think that's exactly how that conversation went, but yeah, I remember," Blaine says with a chuckle. He certainly couldn't deny Kurt has a 'flair for the dramatic.'

"Well… I wouldn't ever ask you to change anything about yourself, but when you talk to my family… They don't like the formality," Kurt says gently. He puts a hand on Blaine's knee under the table. "They think you're too… stiff."

"I just want to be polite," Blaine says quietly, and Kurt knows he's hurt his feelings.

"I know, I know, and you're very polite. Finn goes to William McKinley, though, and he's never met anyone who talks like you before. He doesn't think you're genuine. If you can try to sound a little more… casual, I think you'd be able to have an amiable relationship with him," Kurt says decidedly.

"I can… try to do that," Blaine says slowly.

"Just relax," Kurt says. He squeezes Blaine's knee hard enough that it almost hurts. "They like you, I promise they do."

Blaine nods mutely.

"He's coming back," Kurt reports. "You'll be fine."

As Finn approaches the table, Kurt holds out a bottle of hand sanitizer. Finn starts to shake his head, but Kurt's sharp stare causes him to acquiesce.

"Hey guys," Finn says. "Are you read to head back home?"

"Yeah, I thi- oh my god, I can't believe… I forgot to go to Express and pick up my… shoes," Kurt exclaims, with a laugh that sounds extremely forced. "Well, I guess I'm just going to have to go back. Why don't you guys just stay here?"

"We can go with you, Kurt," Finn replies.

"Don't be silly; you haven't finished your coffee. I'll be right back," Kurt says. He leaves abruptly, leaving the other two boys alone. Finn stares awkwardly at his coffee.

"So… the shopping trip wasn't too bad, was it?" Blaine jokes.

"It was pretty okay. I like the jeans anyway, and I'm glad Kurt _mostly_ gets that I don't want to dress like him," Finn says.

"Kurt's definitely got a unique sense of style," Blaine agrees.

"Yeah. You don't dress like him," Finn observes neutrally.

"Does anyone really dress like Kurt?" Blaine asks with a grin.

"No one I've ever met, but there's no one like him in Lima," Finn says.

"I think when they made Kurt, they broke the mold," Blaine says.

"But you're… like Kurt," Finn says cautiously.

"We're both gay, but we're not really that alike. Kurt's more… theatrical than I am," Blaine says carefully. Finn's not trying to be offensive, he knows, but it's still kind of pissing him off. Does Finn honestly think all gays are exactly the same? Doesn't his girlfriend have two fathers? But he stops this train of thought, because it's not helping him at all.

"Yeah, I guess he is… We had an assignment about theatricality," Finn says. "It was really weird… I wore a shower curtain dress."

"As one would," Blaine says grandly, but Finn doesn't laugh. He figures it's time to get down to business. He's not sure how much longer he can have this conversation without lecture, and that's definitely not going to endear him to Finn. It's very abrupt, but he says, "So… look, I don't know how I'm supposed to say this, but I don't feel like you really trust me."

"Uh…" Finn starts, eyes a little wide. "It's nothing personal, dude. I just don't want anything to happen to Kurt."

"Neither do I. I care about him. A lot," Blaine says, and he looks Finn dead in the eyes.

"He's pretty crazy for you," Finn admits. "I just… if you hurt him, I am going to kick your ass. It's not going to be just me either; all the guys in glee club will be after you. And probably Lauren Zizes, too. She's the toughest person on the wrestling team."

"Well, that's… disconcerting," Blaine jokes.

"…I don't know what that means," Finn admits, playing with his straw.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not going to hurt him. I couldn't. I- I love him too much."

"Oh," Finn says shortly. "Oh, uh, well then. Just, you know… if you break his heart, I'll break your neck."

"That's fair. I don't want to make things awkward. More awkward. They're already pretty awkward," Blaine babbles. "I just want you to know that I'm serious about him."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," Finn says, and Blaine sympathizes. He doesn't either, but he's said what _needs_ to be said. There's nothing to do now but move on, so he comes up with the first thing he can think of.

"Why don't you tell me about how your season is going? You're playing baseball now, right?" Blaine coaches.

"Yeah, but we've still got some football conditioning year round. Our old coach wasn't this strict, but the new one is really intense…"

xxx

When they get back home, Blaine follows Kurt inside. They go straight to his bedroom, and Blaine immediately flops down on his bed.

"So…?" Kurt asks, sitting down next to him. "That bad?"

"It was probably okay," Blaine says, voice muffled by Kurt's pillow. "I think he's starting to understand that I've got good intentions."

"What did you say?" Kurt asks softly.

"Not much. I said I didn't think he trusted me, and he said he was nervous for you. He said if I mess up he's going to send that wrestling girl after me with a chainsaw."

"He didn't!" Kurt exclaims.

"Not exactly," Blaine admits. "I do think things got a little better, threats aside."

"That's good," Kurt says. He looks down at Blaine, still face down on his mattress, head in his folded arms. His boyfriend hasn't looked up at him during this conversation. "This really got to you, didn't it?"

"It… wasn't the most fun I've ever had, no," Blaine admits.

Kurt makes a decision.

"Take your shirt off," he demands.

"Um… why?" Blaine asks.

"I'm giving you a back rub. Take your shirt off," Kurt commands, once again.

Blaine complies, ears turning red. Warm, soft hands dig into his back. He's surprised by how much pressure Kurt is uses, but it's too nice for him to say anything. It was quite a pleasant surprise, finding out how forceful Kurt could be, but this was far from the only benefit. He expected Kurt's inexperience to make him shy, but a lot of times, it just means that he's eager. Blaine sighs in contentment.

"You are the best boyfriend ever," Blaine says into Kurt's pillow, after a few very lovely minutes.

"I know," Kurt replies smugly. His palms press hard into Blaine's deltoids, and Blaine arches into his touch. "So… I've been thinking a lot about next week."

"Yeah?" Blaine asks, and suddenly he's very much expecting to hear that Kurt has changed his mind. "If you don't want to-"

"I do," Kurt interrupts. "Are you starting to reconsider?"

"Mmmmm, no," Blaine groans as Kurt finds a particularly tense area. "I'm… embarrassingly excited about it."

"Good. I am, too," Kurt admits. He lets his hands wander a little lower, rubbing just above where Blaine's waistband hits. "I just… do we have a plan?"

"Do you want a plan?" Blaine asks. He turns onto his back, looking up at Kurt. Strong arms wrap around Kurt's shoulders, and he smiles as he's pulled down to lay his head on Blaine's bare chest.

"Kind of," Kurt admits.

"Well… you said you'd been thinking about it. What have you been thinking about?" Blaine's voice is low, low, low, and his heartbeat is thudding against Kurt's ear.

"A few things," Kurt admits. Blaine's arms are tight around his back. "But I'm trying to figure out how we're supposed to _do_ anything if I can't even talk about it."

Blaine laughs.

"That's half the reason I hadn't brought it up," he admits, stroking Kurt's back.

Suddenly, Kurt's text tone goes off. He fumbles halfheartedly, not wanting to get up. When he picks up his phone, he's surprised. It's from Finn.

"srry. b can stay. tke care of urself."

Without so much as an explanation, he claims Blaine's lips with his own. Rough stubble rubs against his face, and _these_ lips certainly don't taste like Lip Smackers. Soft hands are in thick hair, and Kurt's all teeth and tongue. Blaine's surprised, but he certainly isn't protesting. It only lasts for a few minutes, but they are moments that remind Kurt exactly why he pushed his step-brother on this.

"I don't know what you did, but apparently, it was perfect," Kurt says when he shows Blaine the message.

"Wait, he didn't just come down to tell you that?"

Their conversation is forgotten.

xxx

Kurt spends the next day with Mercedes. He misses her a lot, now that they go to different schools. Things are becoming a lot better between them; they text every day and talk on the phone at least once a week. He wants to tell her about his plans with Blaine, but he can't. She's not homophobic, and he knows this, but she spends a lot of time talking about her church and… Most of his former teammates still had a firm grasp on their v-cards, Mercedes included. There's no one he can really talk to, and it's more than a little frustrating. He wasn't even sure he'd be able to talk to Mercedes about _straight_ sex, let alone sex with Blaine.

And there it is: sex with Blaine. He's not even sure what that means, not even sure what Blaine's expecting him to _do_, and it's totally frustrating. Are they on the same page? He's pretty sure he knows what page he's on; as he's told Blaine, he knows some things he wants to try. He also knows some things he really _doesn't _want to try, some not right now, and some not ever.

This is why he's very pleased when he comes home and finds a package on his spot at the dinner table. Kurt orders things online all the time. The clothes he wants are pretty hard to find in Lima. His dad is used to packages showing up for Kurt. So used to it he doesn't even ask anymore; it's probably more clothes.

This time it's not. This time it's books.

He locks his door before opening the package. His dad barely understands the computer. When he wants to know something, he asks Kurt or Finn to check 'the Google' for him. He has still deleted the history from the day he made this particular order; there is no way he wants Burt or Carole or Finn to know what he's ordered.

Living in Lima means Kurt doesn't really have anyone to talk to about homosexuality. Sure, he met Rachel's dads a few times, and they seem like nice men, but there is absolutely no way Kurt is going to talk to them about this. He'd never be able to look the librarians in the eye again if they saw him checking out like this, and he's got the same problem at the local book stores.

But now he has his own books. No one has to know he has them, and he doesn't have to give them back. They're _his_.

The first step is to change the covers. The images of nearly nude men are certainly… interesting, but he doubts his father would agree. He finds covers from hardcover books of about the same size. _'Sorry Harry Potter… guess you're out of the 'Chamber of Secrets' now,'_ he thinks.

Next, he makes sure he has room in his box for the books. There is a lovely, lovely box that goes under his bed, hidden behind boxes of old New Directions costumes and outfits from three seasons ago he can't bear to get rid of. In this particular box, he keeps the magazines April Rhodes gave him (which have fantastic 'articles') and various other trinkets he'd rather his father not find. It is labeled "Marc Jacobs '07-'09", and there are indeed a few sweaters on top of his treasures. He has to take out three sweaters (one of which finds its way back into his rotation; there are some lovely details near the collar he'd forgotten about), but his books will fit.

Now that he knows he has a place to keep them, he gets to open them.

And there are _pictures_.

Illustrations, really, as he couldn't bring himself to buy anything with photos, but he has _pictures_ and _descriptions. _He flips through the table of contents of the first one, and he finds a lot of chapters he really hopes he never has to read. There's information about cruising and bars and threesomes, but all he really wants to know is what he's supposed to do with _Blaine_.

And now he's thinking about Blaine, his wonderful, wonderful Blaine who smoothes his hair back with gel for school but sometimes lets it stay curly and free on weekends. His Blaine, who he spends hours with, talking about absolutely everything. His Blaine, who is so controlled and proper at school, and yet still does the _dorkiest _dance moves Kurt has ever seen. His Blaine, who still won't admit to him that he tweezes his brows (because his arms have Robin Williams levels of fuzz; there's no way he wouldn't have a wicked unibrow if he didn't do _something_ to them). His Blaine...

His Blaine, who he is going to emulate these illustrations with.

He skims for a bit, reading parts that catch his interest, and looking at _pictures_ until he really can't stand it anymore.

He lies back on his bed (his bed, where he'll be _with Blaine_ in just a week), book in one hand, something distinctly different in his other hand.

A week suddenly seems like a very long time.


	4. Shopping

So, in every fic ever, Rachel is suspicious of Blaine's intentions. I get it. However, I'm going for a different sort of Rachel. She sees that Kurt is happy (and that they are _darling _together) and she's happy for him. Someone has to balance out Finn, and his mother and Rachel are more than happy to create that balance. I guess we might find out on the show soon enough.

I'm not sure how realistic Kurt and Blaine's conversation is, but I think Kurt really just wants a lot of control over the situation. The books aren't supposed to be any particular books.

xxx

Sunday night, Kurt skims all three books. There are several moments when he really, really wants to call Blaine. He doesn't. This is time he needs for himself; later he can share with Blaine.

He learns quit a bit. At first, he really wants to know what's expected of him, but the books don't really help much with that. If anything, they make it worse. What he really learns is that he has _a lot_ of options. A ridiculous number of options. A completely overwhelming number of options.

A lot of them are options he doesn't particularly want to take. He finds a lot of pictures he really doesn't want to look at again, and a lot of words that seemed perfectly innocent until he looks at the definitions. Like fisting. It didn't sound that bad; he'd assumed it was just a different word for a handjob. You took it in your fist, and you… but that wasn't what it meant _at all_. There was a picture for that particular chapter. Looking at it made him wince and cross his legs. It doesn't seem like it should be physically possible, and even if it is, _why would anyone want to do that, ever? _

He calms down in a moment and finds chapters he really does want to read. Some are pretty basic. Two of the books even have chapters on kissing, and he picks up a few tips that could prove to be interesting.

He tries to start off with things that he's pretty comfortable with. Like handjobs. He imagines it's just like masturbating at an awkward angle. He can handle that. That's exactly what he wants to be _handling_. (He snorts at his own joke.) There's nothing too shocking in this particular chapter. There's a picture of a man with his pants unzipped, cock hanging out, another man's firm grip around his shaft. The men are burly and hairy, and one has a tattoo drawn in on his bicep, but it doesn't matter. The picture itself isn't that interesting, but the ideas it gives him really are interesting. It's something he's thought about a lot: giving and getting handjobs. There have been times he wanted to just reach into Blaine's school trousers and _stroke_, but he hasn't. Maybe if they'd had more privacy… Regardless, he feels like he's ready. It's going to be embarrassing, but he really wants to do it. It seems weird that he hasn't yet.

There are other things he wants to do that he's a lot more nervous about. He flips to see page 57, and there it is written in bold font, on the top of the page: **Fellatio**.

He used to fantasize about a man going down on his knees and taking his cock in his mouth, hot, wet tongue on him, eyes looking up to meet his, and just _licking_ and _sucking_, and… He still has the same fantasy. It's still something he thinks about in the shower. But now, he also imagines sucking Blaine's cock. He's thought about it before, what it would be like to do it to another man, but with Blaine? He wants to. He _really_ wants to.

He reads this chapter in all three books. Every tip, every position, every _picture _adds a new layer to his imaginings. He may or may not have lingered on the sex tips in Mercedes' copies of Cosmo for exactly this reason. He's nervous; it sounds like it requires a lot of coordination. He wants to do it, though, and he really, really hopes Blaine wants him to as well.

There are things he wants to do, and there are things he's afraid Blaine is going to want. One thing in particular. Anal. Even thinking the word makes him blush. It's not that he never wants to try it. It's certainly not that he's never thought about it. It just seems like such a big step. It seems so intimate, so intense, so… final. He wants to do it. He even wants Blaine to be the one he does it with. It's just not time yet.

He hopes it's not going to be a problem. Blaine loves his ass. He's never made a secret of it. When they make out, Blaine's hands tend to find their way south. More than once, he has dropped things just to watch Kurt pick them up. It's a little annoying, but mostly he's flattered.

His biggest stress is with the issue of 'top' and 'bottom'. So far, it hasn't really come up in his relationship with Blaine. When they cuddle, there isn't much of an issue about who is the 'big spoon' and who is the 'little spoon'. Sometimes, they lay on the couch, and Blaine puts his arms around Kurt, pulling him up against his chest. It's nice. Sometimes, the position is reversed. They both like that, too. He imagines that instead of being a 'big spoon' and a 'little spoon' they are like the Glade interlocking lids he sees commercials for. They're completely interchangeable. He can try everything from every side, and he _likes_ that. He doesn't want it to change. He doesn't want to be stuck in one role in a relationship; he wants to try everything. What if Blaine has given him a role in his head?

It's all so awkward. Blaine says he wants to do whatever Kurt wants to do, but what if he has _ideas_? Kurt certainly has ideas. They've talked about doing _more_, but it's so imprecise. He just wants to _know_…

He takes a deep breath. Blaine is coming over after school on Tuesday. They can talk about everything, and Kurt can show him his books, and they can finally get a plan together. Kurt likes plans. He likes plans and lists and order. He likes it when things make sense, and right now they really don't.

The books help. There's a lot of information in them, and he finds out some things he hadn't known before. He finds out what frotting is. It seems so simple, but he's honestly never thought about it before. He thinks about it now, looking through the illustrations. It seems so new and exciting, and he definitely, definitely wants to try this. It's the first thing that he wants to try that is really clearly two-sided. They could sixty-nine and both get each other off, or they could give each other handjobs, but the idea of just _rubbing_ himself against Blaine, rubbing until they both come… The books have already more than paid for themselves.

The next interesting thing he learns is that fingering can be a sex act in and of itself. This is kind of a revolutionary idea, although he's not sure why. He knows it can be fun all by itself. He _really_ knows this. He's always kind of assumed, though, that when someone else got involved in it, it was because they were preparing you for something bigger. More than he imagines anything else, he likes to think about Blaine fingering him. He watches him play the piano sometimes; long, graceful fingers gently striking the keys. His fingers are calloused from playing the guitar, and Kurt knows it would feel entirely different than anything he could possibly do to himself. He's not quite sure he's ready to ask for this just yet, but it's a (very, very) nice idea, and he likes thinking about it.

More than anything, he wishes he'd bought these books years ago. There's so much he didn't know, so much he still needs to read more about. It's liberating, knowing that he's not the only person having these thoughts. (Rationally, he knows he's not, but living in the middle of Ohio, it certainly feels that way sometimes.)

When he finally gets to bed, his mind is still racing. Blaine texts him goodnight, and he wants to text him back something completely filthy (because he's been thinking about him all evening, and those thoughts turn to actions, and those actions tire his wrist…), but he just sends 'Sleep well ;)' instead.

xxx

When he sees Blaine on Monday morning, he directs him away from the other students. They sit in a secluded corner of the commons, far enough away to avoid eavesdroppers.

"I bought some books," Kurt says quickly.

"That's nice," Blaine replies, a puzzled grin on his face. It's the same look he gets when Kurt tries to explain anything about cars: completely charmed but uncomprehending.

"No, they're _books_," Kurt tries to clarify. "They… explain things. Next week things."

"Next week things," Blaine says slowly, taking a step closer to Kurt. His smile widens, and he reaches out a hand to touch Kurt's arm, just above his elbow. Kurt blushes and looks down. "Is it… an interesting read?"

"Definitely," Kurt replies. "I can show you tomorrow, if you're still coming over."

"Absolutely. They can help us with out 'plan'," Blaine says, same goofy smile on his face. It's a smile that always makes Kurt want to kiss him, but right now they aren't terribly far from there classmates. Instead, he looks up and smiles back before they go back to join their friends.

xxx

It's finals week at WMHS, which means most students are incredibly busy. There are papers to be written, presentations to be given, and above all, there is an ungodly amount of studying to be done. The students and teachers are under a lot of stress.

Finn Hudson is pretty unaffected. He supposes it should be stressful, but he doesn't really care about his grades. In fact, most of his extra-curriculars are done for the school year. He's actually got a lot less to do than usual. His girlfriend, on the other hand, is freaking out. She always has something going on after school: ballet, voice lessons, acting classes, and a bunch of other stuff Finn really doesn't care about. She's studying like mad for all of her classes, because she elected to take honor's classes for just about everything.

So he really shouldn't have been surprised at her reaction when he came to talk to her before first period.

"Finn, I don't even have the time to tell you I don't have the time to talk to you right now!" she tells him.

"I just… Kurt and I figured everything out," Finn tells her, racing through the halls with her. She's more than a foot shorter than him, so she really shouldn't be capable of outpacing him like this, but he has to take very long strides to keep up with her.

"And?" Rachel asks. She's retrieving her books from her locker. She's not looking at Finn, but he knows she's paying attention. She couldn't not listen; getting involved in other people's relationships is one of her favorite pastimes.

"Kurt made me go shopping with him this weekend, and I talked to Blaine. It seems like he's an okay guy, you know? He's still kind of weird and stuck-up, but it seems like he really cares about Kurt," Finn reports.

"Of course he does," Rachel replies. "Finn, you can tell just by looking at them that he's crazy for Kurt. Kurt has really good taste."

Finn grimaces a little bit, because he really doesn't want to think about Kurt's taste. Apparently _he_ fits in there somewhere, and he really doesn't want to think about it. He's nothing like this guy Kurt has apparently fallen for. That means something, he's sure, but if he thinks about it too hard, it's probably not going to be pretty.

"I didn't mean it like that," Rachel says to Finn's silence. "Although it's true."

"I'd rather avoid that whole chapter," Finn says.

"It wasn't exactly his proudest moment," Rachel says. "It seems like he's a lot happier now."

"Yeah," Finn replies, but in his head, he adds '_for now_.'

xxx

Tuesday night comes slowly. Dalton still had almost a month left, so Kurt and Blaine are quite busy. The Warblers are still extremely active, and classes are going strong. After practice, Blaine follows Kurt home. Kurt's glad Burt and Finn are at work. Carole is home, but she's always pleasant. She hugs them both and gives Kurt a smile that makes him a little uncomfortable as they head to his room.

Of course, he's more uncomfortable when he actually gets there. He kneels down next to his bed to take out the box.

"They're hidden?" Blaine asks.

"Absolutely. No one comes in my room, but if they did…" Kurt begins. "I like to keep my private things private."

Blaine nods and avoids telling him he knows this. He does laugh a little at Kurt's muscle magazines.

"They were a gift," Kurt says shortly.

"I guess you've got a type," Blaine replies, flexing a bicep. He half-heartedly pokes at the (admittedly small) muscle. Kurt smiles.

"I guess gorgeous counts as a type," Kurt replies, leaning over to give Blaine a kiss. Blaine smiles and blushes. It's Kurt's turn to blush as he pulls out the three books. Blaine opens the first one.

"I've never actually bought any books like this," Blaine admits. "I've mostly looked things up on the internet."

"I share a computer with my family. I didn't want anyone to know," Kurt replies.

"So do we have a plan for creating our plan?" Blaine asks.

"Um… I have post-it notes," Kurt begins. "We could take different colors and mark the pages we are… interested in."

"That's kind of intense," Blaine says. "Can you just… is there something you really want? Or don't want?"

"There are… yeah," Kurt says. They are both sitting next to each other on the floor. Blaine is sitting a little closer to Kurt than is probably necessary, leaning against him.

"Do I have to guess? We could play charades," Blaine suggests lightly, but Kurt doesn't laugh. "Sorry. Okay. Yes/no questions. Is this about something you _don't_ want or something you _do_ want?"

"That's not a yes/no question," Kurt says. "But it's mostly the first."

"Something you don't want… Is it, like, one thing or a lot of things?"

"I mean, there are a lot of things I don't want. One of the books has a chapter about bestiality-"

"Ew, really?" Blaine interrupts.

"Yeah. But it's mostly one thing," Kurt admits.

"Is there… are there several things you want to- to try, or is there a particular thing you-"

"Several things," Kurt says.

"So… if I can figure out what you don't want, we don't have to talk about everything else, do we?" Blaine asks.

"I guess not," Kurt replies.

"I mean, you'd tell me if I did something you didn't like, right?" Blaine asks.

"Yeah," Kurt says.

"You better. I would," Blaine says. "Promise me? You don't even have to _say_ anything, if you don't want, you can just-"

"I'm not letting you get away with anything. Ever," Kurt says, and he lays his head on Blaine's shoulder. Blaine wraps an arm around his back.

"Good. So, what am I not getting away with?" he muses aloud. "Let's see… is there anything you're thinking of that you don't want to… go both ways?

"No," Kurt says softly.

"Is it… have I done it before?" Blaine asks softly. They haven't really had much of a discussion about this before, but they're both aware that Blaine has more experience than Kurt.

"I don't… I don't think so," Kurt says slowly. He tries to avoid thinking about Blaine's past relationships, and the conversations they've had have pretty much glossed over any sexual aspects. He knows Blaine had gotten handjobs from his ex (and given them as well), and there were a couple of blowjobs involved, but that's all he really knows. He doesn't really like thinking about it; jealousy isn't going to help anything.

"I told you everything there is to tell," Blaine replies quietly, cheeks turning red. Kurt doesn't really understand why. Blaine has told him that he doesn't regret it, that he really cared about Michael. Kurt doesn't understand why he's embarrassed, but he leans his chin over to rest his face against Blaine's chest.

"Oh, then no. Definitely no," Kurt replies. This has gotten a little ridiculous, so he hands Blaine a book. "It's, um… It's page 123."

Kurt closes his eyes and tries to relax as Blaine opens the book.

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Um. No, I wasn't really… I didn't plan-"

"I didn't think you did," Kurt interrupts softly.

"So… are we good, then?" Blaine asks.

"One more thing," Kurt says.

"Uh oh," Blaine teases.

"Dad and Carole are leaving Saturday afternoon. Can you stay over Saturday night?" Kurt asks.

"Gee, I don't know I'm going to have to check my schedule," Blaine says, but when Kurt smacks his chest, he laughs. "Absolutely, I'll come over. Isn't Finn going to be upset, though?"

"He already gave me his permission. Like I needed it," Kurt snorts. "But I've got things figured out. He won't be home when you come over. We should have at least three hours."

"How are you managing that?" Blaine asks. He slowly moves to the side, pulling away from Kurt. Kurt stops leaning against Blaine, disappointed for about ten seconds until Blaine shifts over to straddle his lap. There is mischief in his eyes, and Kurt looks to the side, coyly. Blaine knows exactly how to make him melt.

"I haven't actually managed it yet, but I've got a plan," Kurt reports. It's hard to concentrate with wet hot lips on his neck. It's almost languid, almost thoughtless the way the older boy's lips glide across his skin.

"Sneaky, sneaky," Blaine accuses, not bothering to move his mouth away from Kurt's throat. He nips just a little, and Kurt tilts his chin up to allow for better access.

"What, you wanted him to stay here?" Kurt teases.

"Definitely not," Blaine replies.

"Good," Kurt says resolutely, and the conversation is promptly abandoned.

xxx

That's one huge relief, but Kurt isn't quite done planning. When Blaine leaves, he has a phone call to make.

"Rachel Berry," he is greeted enthusiastically.

"Rachel? It's Kurt," he replies.

"Kurt! How are you? How is Dalton? I hope everything is wonderful!" she says.

"I'm fantastic, Dalton is fantastic, everything is fantastic," Kurt replies. For once, it's pretty much true. "How are you doing?"

"Alright, I guess, but there's so much going on at the end of the semester. I've got classes, preparation for summer theater, ballet, acting lessons, voice lessons… But I don't think you called to talk about that," Rachel says.

"You're right. Saturday night, after my parents leave, the community theater in Findlay is doing a production of 'Funny Girl.' I bought you and Finn tickets," Kurt says.

"Kurt! Oh, I knew I missed you for a reason. Are you and Blaine coming as well?" she asks.

"No, we're not. We've got other plans," Kurt says.

"More important than musical theater? They must be pretty big plans," Rachel replies.

"Oh, not really," Kurt says coyly.

"You know what Finn is going to think if the two of you are left alone," she says softly.

"It's none of his business," Kurt says adamantly.

"I know, I know," Rachel says.

"We're just cooking dinner together," Kurt says. They are planning to cook together; that much was true.

"Cooking, huh? Don't get burned," she advises. It should probably upset him, but she's soft and sweet and sincere, and there's absolutely nothing accusatory in her tone.

"I won't," he says.

"So how are you convincing Finn to go to the show?" she asks.

"He knows it's your favorite. He won't say no if you ask him," he replies.

"You don't want me to tell him you bought the tickets," she accuses.

"I was hoping you could avoid that. I was also hoping you could convince him to take you out to dinner, so you'll be gone longer," he replies.

"You are sneaky and underhanded, and I've missed you so incredibly much," Rachel tells him.

He laughs and is surprised to realize that he has missed her as well.

xxx

The last part of Kurt's plan is the worst, but it's pretty important. He has to drive to Findlay to pick up the theater tickets, anyway, so he decides to make a stop in town. As he drives up to the Walmart (oh _god_, he is in Walmart of all places, what has this world come to?), his hands shake a little on the steering wheel. When he steps out of the car, however, he is calm and collected. He is Kurt Hummel; he can handle this.

He avoids the produce; there is no way he is getting his fruit from _Walmart_. He does walk through the packaged foods and picks up some fruit leather for his father (because it is like the Slimjim version of fruit, he reasons). The prices on Garnier skincare floor him, and he shoves four bottles of moisturizer into his basket. Now he is in the 'personal care' section, and he has to face the facts.

He's not here for fruit leather or cheap moisturizer. There's still something he needs to buy. He's not entirely sure he needs lube for what they have planned, but it could certainly make things easier. He has done his research, of course, and he knows he needs something water-based. Flavored would probably be interesting, but he can't buy it here, he can't. He reads ingredients on a few bottles and picks what he wants before long.

He could save himself embarrassment and just go through the line now, but if he's going to need to buy them eventually, anyway…

Condoms.

It's probably no more embarrassing than what's already in his basket, but it's completely terrifying. Someone is going to know that he is going to _have sex_.

Someone else is standing by the display, so he wanders over to looks nearby. Horrifyingly enough, he finds himself looking at pregnancy tests. 'At least I don't have to worry about that,' he thinks, and he regains a little confidence. He looks over his sunglasses to see that the woman inspecting the condoms has moved on.

'Why on earth are there so many varieties?' is his first thought. There is lubricated, non-lubricated, spermicidally lubricated, lambskin, extra thin, extra large, colored, flavored, ribbed… Well, he certainly doesn't need anything labeled 'for her pleasure.' He finds something fairly basic and throws in a box. They don't expire until 2014, and he hopes he doesn't have to wait anywhere near that long to use them.

There is a self checkout, but the machines are annoying and they always wind up making him talk to a clerk anyway. There's a counter right next to the self checkout, and the man standing there is probably about the same age as Kurt's father. Kurt's not going to risk it. He decides to go through a checkout line. Instead of looking for the shortest line, he tries to find the cashier that seems the most sympathetic. He settles on a line with a young female clerk. She's probably in high school, and she shouldn't be too terribly shocked by his purchases.

He sets the items on the belt and waits for his turn to come. There is only one customer in front of him (a man who looks to be in his mid-twenties). It doesn't take long at all. His turn comes very shortly, and he's glad he elected to wear sunglasses today; it means he doesn't have to look her in the eyes.

"Did you find everything alright?" she asks.

"Yeah," he replies. She has already finished scanning his items. He pays with cash.

"Thank you, come again," she says.

Luckily, she has nothing else to say to him. He picks up his bag (reusable, of course) and heads to his car. The bag is placed in the passenger seat, and only when he has closed the driver's side door, does he breathe a sigh of relief.


End file.
